Professional Envy Can Kill Productivity
Posted: Thursday, May 29, 2008
by Loree Lough
Leading Edge Writers' Studios
Most of us were taught at an early age that it isn't good to want what others have. Yet we're all bitten by the jealous bug at one time or another...
...and it's rarely more counterproductive than at work.
I spoke with a fellow author recently, who told me about another writer pal who'd just signed a major multi-book contract at one of New York's biggest publishing houses. The deal came with all the perks: huge advance, higher than normal royalties, all-expenses paid book tour, ads in the NY Times, the whole schlameezel. Nobody was more surprised than me when he interrupted my "Woo hoo, atta girl, way to go!" cheer with a slew of snide remarks that described very clearly ,what he thought of his author pal's talent...and lucky break. Ten minutes and a seriously red ear later, I hung up wondering why the poor gal's good fortune so totally ticked this guy off.
Jealousy, for the most part, involves three people (you, your lover, your lover's lover), whereas envy concerns two (you, and that no-talent hack who got a book deal on the heels of your latest rejection). Envy isn't resentment, longing, or desire. It's way more malicious than that. It's what prompts a seemingly nice person like my writer pal to make wise cracks that border on slanderous.
Simply put, envy is the result of wanting something that somebody else has. Doesn't matter a whole lot if that something is a better car, a bigger house, a nicer vacation, a prettier (or more handsome) face, a fitter 'bod'...or a book contract. Envy is the ugly emotion that made my writer pal eligible for membership in the Greedy Pig club (hereafter referred to as GPs). GPs rarely take into account that the object of their envy worked hard--maybe for years--to achieve whatever it is they have that turns others into GPs. Instead, GPs grow angry, resentful, and if gone unchecked, their envious behavior can turn friends into enemies.
Thomas Aquinas said "Envy according to the aspect of its object is contrary to charity ... charity rejoices in our neighbor's good, while envy grieves over it." The GPs of the world will not be happy to hear that you've just cut the best deal of your career. Why? Because they want what you've got. And rather than admit they could have it too, if only they'd pay the price you paid to get it, they narrow their beady eyes, purse their lips, and cuss you (not always under their breath), all while wondering how in the hell you made the magic happen as they scribble 'ways I'd like to torture her' on their I'm So Miserable lists.
Aristotle defined envy as "the pain caused by the good fortune of others". And make no mistake: GPs suffer big time when peers' careers advance. Pity they're too busy asking "Why not me?" to realize how much energy they're wasting--energy they could spend, instead on iproving their craft.
Envy isin't one of the Seven Deadly Sins 'just because'. It wasn't the inspiration for poetry, movies or songs for no good reason. It wasn't carved onto stone tablets hand-delivered by Moses because God was thinking "Oh, they're good people, but just in case...."
Envy has been around since the dawn of Man. Wouldn't surprise me in the least to learn that cave man A clubbed cave man B to death because he envied the size of his...cave. (That could just as easily fall into the 'jealousy' category, but it started out as envy!) Envy isn't new TO stories, nor is inew IN stories; Shakespeare wrote it into Othello and The Merchant of Venice , to name just two.
But I digress....
My own 'worst with envy occurred some years ago, after I'd earned dozens of book contracts. I happily mentored a woman whom I believed to be a close personal friend, devoting countless hours to editing and critiquing her manuscripts in the hope she could join me on Published Authors Row. If she'd taken my advice, would she have been forced to spend tens of thousands of dollars,self-publishing her book? Who knows. But again, I digress....
I had many more years in the industry and a far healthier nose-to-the-grindstone attitude. That never entered her head when she considered my success. Envy of what I'd achieved began eating away at our relationship. She grew angry and edgy, spiteful and resentful, and it showed in her rude behavior and cutting comments. I chalked it all up to a snobbish, domineering spouse rather than admit she'd started seeing me as a rival.
Then one day, while I was recuperating from a serious illness, she visited. As I sipped tea, she asked to borrow my copy machine. I didn't have the energy to accompany her into my office, but she'd been a friend for more than a decade. She'd been in there dozens of times. Never crossed my mind she'd steal from me.
It wasn't until weeks later, when I read an item in a writers' organization newsletter, that I realized she'd come calling with a calculated and deliberate purpose: To photocopy my lesson plans and an important business outline (two of a dozen things she stole that afternoon) and passed them off as her own .
But don't feel sorry for me, my dearies. I wasn't the real victim here. It was my GP. What's more,I believe she saw herself as a victim, too. Envy, for her, came with feelings of entitlement that helped her rationalize the crimes she'd committed. She resented me to the point of hatred for having accomplished what she wished she could have accomplished. Was it low self-esteem, self-loathing, or laziness that blinded her to the fact that I worked hard for everything I have, struggled to reach every goal in my life...including those of the 'writing kind? Only she knows the answer to that.
The power of her envy prompted every thought and action, allowed her to rationalize away all the bad stuff she'd said and done. Envy is like that, see. It gets inside you, and if you let it, behaves like a hungry parasite, feeding on what used to be your good nature, you pride and dignity, your honesty.
To paraphrase Bertram Russell, envy is one of the major causes of unhappiness. That's really putting it mildly, because that gal, m'friends, is one of the most unhappy human beings I've had the displeasure of knowing.
Let's not forget the envy is a very normal human emotion, one that impacts all of us at one time or another, regardless of social class, race, religion, age, or gender. Most of us get it under control quickly, but when we don't, it's powerful and dangerous.
Yes, envy can be a good thing...
...if it inspires us to work harder, reach farther, broaden our horizons, improve who or what we are in an attempt to 'grow' to the heights of those we admire.
Call me Pollyanna, but when I hear that a friend, acquaintance, relative, or neighbor finally got that car they've been saving for, moved into the home of their dreams, returned from an adventurous vacation, signed a book contract, or saw one of their novels turned into a movie, I'm genuinely happy for them! The joy of their successes and achievements spills onto me. Now how can that be a bad thing!
So, all you writers out there, next time you feel a twinge of envy because one of your moved up a rung on the Writing Ladder of Success, don't wallow in self-pity. Don't speculate which relative is her editor, or which agent she slept with to make it possible. Don't trod on her talents. Don't call her everything but an author. Turn in your Greedy Pig Club membership card, immediately!
Then write her a note. Tell her how happy you are about her good news. Say things like "High fives!" and "Thumbs up!" Then hit your knees and pray like crazy that fifty more of your writer pals will move another rung, so you can write each of them a similar note. I guarantee by the time you sign that 50th card, you'll actually mean it!
And nothing is better at feeding your muse than pure, unadulterated self-satisfaction. Because before long, listening to your muse, parking your keester in your desk chair, keeping your fingers moving on they keyboard will have your writer friends will be high-fiving and thumbs-upping you!
This Article has been viewed 1,926 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (8 total)hi loree, this was such a well written and interesting article, that has truths i think we've all experienced. thank you for sharing, best regards, sue thom
HI Loree, this was a great article! Very well said. It is true, Covetousness is a deadly sin--just look at all the pain it causes. We need to be proud of one another's accomplishments and quick to say, "hey, what can I do to improve?" Learning from someone who has accomplished much is far more productive than being envious. Thanks for the great reminder. And kudos to you for all of your accomplishments! Thanks for sharing your experience with us! Blessings to you! Teresa
You write great stuff! Thought provoking and so true..I felt like I was sitting down with you and enjoying your conversation...
Good article, good advice, Loree.
A world of coveting what others have. In my opinion it is what we have created in our society today and at a cost that perhaps we shall not know in this century or ever. It all starts with ourselves. If we spend half as much time on that we wouldn't be worried with others. Good job
Loree, Ouch re the friend who stole your work! She can get no real satisfaction from it though - cheater's joy or victory is only ever hollow. One of my dearest friends is a very successful author with many 'victories' under her belt. She has such a wonderful work ethic and always had incredible persistence in sending her work everywhere before she made her 'overnight' breakthrough. I'm really proud of her and wish I had her ability to focus so absolutely on her work. I'm nowhere near as good at saying no to others. She has her kids over once a week for a meal, minds her grandchildren regularly, has lunch out with a group of us on a regular basis, but still can work head down, tail up for long hours to achieve her brilliant books. This is her time, and she's going for it. And quite rightly, too. Wish I was as strong! Cheers, Hannah
So so helpful for a person who has and still battles with envy from both ends of the stick beautifully written thankyou
woowwowoowo u said it well. Very good article
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.